Alligators 'n Roadkill

Alligators 'n Roadkill
On The Road


Saturday, April 28, 2012

I have some pet peeves (OK, lots of them).

"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."    Terry Pratchett

(This started out to be about a pet peeve (as in, just one). Then, as I started to write, the one became two, and then, before I knew it, I was up to three, and by now, we’ve gone beyond one or a couple, so this is just me doing my best to emulate the late Andy Rooney).

Why is it that every freaking commercial on TV, all too many TV shows, and all too many movies, feature guys who have not shaved for two or three days. It’s like they’re too wimpy to grow a real man-beard, too lazy to shave on a daily basis, or just plain stupid. Did somebody tell them that this is a cool look? When a guy has a real job to go to every day, do you suppose he really shows up looking like this? In real life?  I sure don’t recall seeing anyone that has to deal with the public looking like this. 

I seem to recall that Crockett and Tubbs, the main characters on Miami Vice way back in the 80’s, were perhaps the first ones to feature this look, and I would have thought it would go out of style along with their pushed-up Armani jacket sleeves, but obviously I was wrong. BTW, why would someone pay Armani prices and then deliberately wrinkle the garment?

I guess what troubles me about this is that the only place you see this is on the tube, and in movies. I can’t think of any time that I have ever seen a real person go around looking like this, except maybe a guy who doesn’t shave on his day off. I mean, would you really buy a car from a person who looked like this? Want to deal with someone like this in applying for a loan? Do any kind of business with a person who looks like this?

Meanwhile, while I strenuously object to all television advertising pushing prescription medications of any kind, the worst, the most offensive, the very stupidest are the ones for Cialis/Viagra. First of all, all the guys in these ads are sporting this truly dumb haven’t-shaved-for-a-couple-of-days-‘cause-somebody-told-me-it-looks-cool look, and all the couples are (at the oldest) in their early 40’s! These people don’t need this kind of drug! Whatever happened to truth in advertising?!

If they were a little bit honest, they’d show some old fart in his 80’s, drooling over a bright young 20-something who is eager to get her hot little hands on his, um, er, ah… (what else?).

You know, it is bad enough when any prescription medication’s ad starts to list all the possible side effects (you’d think that alone would deter the average person from wanting to use the damn thing), but then they go on and show you people (always paid actors, by the way) who obviously do NOT need the drug, you just gotta wonder, “Am I really as stupid as these manufacturers and advertising agencies think I am?”

And, somebody please tell me when did the word, ‘gift’ become a verb? As in, “I want to gift my husband a new toy. Is that all right?” NO, it is NOT all right! Find yourself a vocabulary, and give the poor SOB whatever the hell you want to give him, and, after you have put this word to a proper use, just leave me out of it, thank you very much!

And, when, dear Lord, will people understand the difference between I could care less, and I could NOT care less? Do I really have to spell this out? OK, look. If I could actually care less about something that implies that I actually might have positive feelings about it. On the other hand, if I could NOT care less that means my feelings are, like, non-existent towards that thing, which means what y’all are trying to say, but always seem to miss.

And, now, two of my pet peeves have been combined! During the course of an ongoing discussion involving Monsanto, on an internet forum recently, one the true haters of Monsanto actually wrote this:

“There are many profit seeking entities that could care less what they do to
humanity; Monsanto happens to be one of them. Their focus is on their bottom
line, nothing more, nothing less, even if it reaches the point of being self
destructive. I am proud that Costa Rica is sticking to it's guns. There happened
to be a documentary a few weeks ago showing how agribusiness in Mexico almost
got the shaft as a result of genetic engineering.”

You see, the entire debate involving the incessant whining from these folks who stand firmly against GMO foods is ridiculous enough by itself. But, these people compound the ‘ridiculosity’ (if you will) by the use of that phrase I hate to see! - - ‘could care less.’ - - That’s the one! I ask them to please refute that one question for me, and this is the response I get. I ask them to suppose that they are indeed correct in their belief that Monsanto is out to dominate the world to the point of poisoning us all (including themselves), thus killing off the entire population of the world. What would that do to that precious ‘bottom line’ this person has referred to? Do you really believe that they would kill themselves just to make a profit? Obviously, he does, because he says so!

Ultimately, I think if it was left up to these people, we’d all – if we were ever born in the first place – be squeezed into the British Isles, or the European continent, because you know Columbus would never have been able to launch the Nina, the Pinta, or the Santa Maria! (That’s because they are the sort who would persist in believing that the world is flat, the sun revolves around the earth, and so on, get it?)

And, somebody please tell me when did it become allowable to apply the verb, grow, to inanimate objects, as in, “If you want to grow your business,” or, “In order to grow the economy”???? Think about it. Here are some synonyms for the word: crop, cultivate, culture, dress, promote, raise, rear, tend. Would you try to promote the economy? Or, rear the economy? Granted, you might want to promote your business, but promoting a business is not really the same as making it grow. Isn’t promoting a product or business really about just getting the word out in an effort to help it to grow? Yes, your business can grow, but I do not believe that one actually grows it.

Oh, here’s another thing that puzzles me, if it doesn’t piss me off.  Why is it, when you watch a movie, or a TV show, and the scenes show a family, or a couple, in their home, the windows never have curtains, or blinds, or shutters (unless a storm is coming and they have to close these in a hurry), or any window treatment?  I mean, here these people are, going about their private lives, and the whole world can see whatever they are doing?!  Whenever we have moved into a place, the first thing we have always done was to put up some sort of window covering temporarily, and then get either blinds or curtains, wherever we have lived.  I mean, it’s one thing to demand privacy in your life, but quite another to go showing the whole damn world what you’re doing behind those closed doors, because you don’t care enough to cover the frickin’ windows!

OK, that’s it……’nuff for now……..catch ya on the rebound…..

No comments:

Post a Comment